Five Changes I Want To See Now I’ve Hit The Big Three-o


 

Age: Such a funny old thing isn’t it?

I’ve now officially leapt out of my twenties giving it a big middle finger and off I go into my thirties with a hell-yeah (not that I had a choice, it’s gonna happen anyway) and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to do it, than whilst on holiday, thank you Mauritius.

“If I could turn back time…”

Sorry, just channelling my inner ‘Cher’ there. We’re always trying to turn back the clock but getting older is totally inevitable and we will never be younger than we are at this very moment. Bla bla bla. No matter how hard we might try, none of us are exempt from that process. But, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Etc etc etc.

A tale as old as time

I often wonder why age is such a touchy subject for some? I feel like getting older represents such wonderful things and is the only true measure of how far we’ve come and who we are at this time. The challenges we’ve faced, the things we’ve been through (good and bad) helps us learn, allowing us to pick up more knowledge and experience along the way to carry us forward through even more of life’s lessons.

The ‘Before I Turn 30’ List

Didn’t do one. I had often thought about it but I’m glad I didn’t because I’m more interested in using what I’ve learnt in the years before now! For me I find getting older a) annoying, yes because you can see your body changing and b) all the more exciting because there’s still so much to learn! I think age is something to be celebrated, whatever figure it may be - it is just a number after all. Or you know, we could just look at how many wrinkles we’ve got instead and feel bad about ourselves instead, then we can be sold lots of expensive anti-aging products - oops, did I just say that?

So, what does 30 mean for a gal like me?

So, whilst hitting up the big three-o in Mauritius I’m excited to see what kind of wizardry my thirties has up its sleeve. Here’s five things I’d like to see happening in my world now I’m here:


1. More Confidence And Belief In Myself - Pronto!

Truthfully? I still don’t quite believe in myself or have confidence in my own ability to do things and to do them well. I worry about who I am and what people think of me. I have a very low level of trust in myself and it’s all down to still holding on to negative mental baggage from my past.

I’m getting there, but it’s still not quite where I want it to all be - I’m working on it. I want to be able to deal with toxicity in my life without it making me feel like a victim, I want to be so totally and utterly self-assured that people can’t mess with my state of mind.

Mess with me, you’re going down (only joking…or am I?)


2. Upping My Fitness Game To Include Strength Training (Grrr)

Why? To fight off all the negative feelings, of course! Let’s rewind to 5 years ago and I wouldn’t have been caught dead in a gym. My feet would have been planted firmly in the idea that the gym is for weirdos and I’m better off without it and I’d enjoy scoffing at all the people leaping about doing squats and what nots (that rhymes).

Now? I love the gym and exercising has been so good for me in terms of weight loss which I struggled for years to achieve. It’s also been an important part of managing my anxiety and I could kick myself for the way I used to think about exercise. Now I’ve got to a plateau point with my weight and I’m relatively ‘happy’ with how I look, I think it’s time to start introducing toning exercises to help shape and strengthen the rest.

Whenever people mention weight or strength training, they immediately say ‘oh I’ll see you on world’s strongest woman next’ - I smile.


3. Grow My Blog (With Epic Proportions)

Ha, wouldn’t that be lovely? As you can see, I like to blog and I’m doing it right now as we speak (or read). Only, I want to call it ‘creative writing’ instead (ooh fancy) but what I’d like to do is create more content that moves and inspires, which means I may be moving away from beauty reviews (even though I’ll still do the odd one!) and more toward meaningful content from the heart.

I have suffered terribly with anxiety to the point it made me feel like I was going insane. That, along with so many things in life I think deserve talking about, so I’d like to use my powerful keyboard-fingers to talk about things which bring us together, stuff that means something.

Hopefully we can share our thoughts on feelings together, it helps to talk things out after all. Awww, aren’t I cute. Let’s do this!


4. The Ability To Travel Without Anxiety (carry on baggage only, thank you)

I’m wondering if I’ve got a bit too cocky with this one. Over the past 5 years I’ve suffered with crippling anxiety when it comes to travel and it’s been a big old issue for me. I thought it was just limited to long haul as that’s when I felt it the most, however it’s cropped up on a few occasions with short haul and I had no choice but to seek counselling (best thing ever, by the way).

Whilst it’s not as bad as it was, by no means has it fully left me for good. Every now and then I feel it coming to the surface and I want to be able to book a holiday and enjoy the months leading up to it, not dread them and have my anxiety take over. Just let me be free, Mrs Anxiety!


5. Find More Things To Enjoy That Don’t Involve My Phone (Google search: what to do without phone?)

Our phones are such powerful little rectangles of life aren’t they? I’m on mine more than I’d like to admit and on more than one occasion recently it’s interfered with my mental capacity, making me feel like I’m rushing. If I’m going to be doing this thang from now on, I’m going to have to establish some kind of system which balances out the influence my phone has over everything else.

I’m thinking of simple things that I feel like I’m always against the clock with, like reading and I mean actually taking the time to read a book properly and take it in without distractions. Daily ‘chores’ like cleaning and washing which, as totally not-fun as they are, still need to be done without feeling like I’m rushing to get back and check my phone. We’ll see!


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